Hello friends how are you? I hope you are feeling well. If you are not feeling well, then at least you must be pretending to be better in front of people. I used to do the same. The remote of my life was actually in the hands of others. Since childhood, I bothered about what others are thinking of me and what interpretations others are having of my words. They should be think well about me. This was also because we have been taught this since childhood. We are taught to get ahead of others from childhood. So it becomes a part of our behavior that we start accepting as true.
I was good at the study from childhood. In the 10th I had 92 percent. IIT was praised long before us. So I too was shown the path of IIT, so in 11th I took the science stream. Now the entire focus was on IIT exams. I study hard day and night. And then in the first attempt, I passed the IIT exam. I got admission in IIT Kharagpur and I did B.Tech. (Electrical Engineering). A party was also held at my house. Everyone was happy. My parents are very proud of me.
All relatives and people around were congratulating them. I also had an excitement about IIT.
The course started but slowly the excitement started cooling down. Now I started feeling very sad. I did not feel at all in what I was studying. Or frankly, I did not feel like engineering. It was like forcing some work. Many kinds of thoughts used to come in mind. Thinking about this caused headaches. I did not feel like talking to anyone at all. The first year was like, but come the second year, I was feeling very depressed. But I always pretend to be happy in front of others.
I thought that if I do not do this, then they will think negatively about me. They will consider me weak. Sometimes I think I should leave IIT. But then it seemed that everyone would make fun of me. I would think foolishly. My parents also will not accept my decision. But I felt that this field is not for me. I am forcing it. Actually, I have taken the admissions here only for ideal expectations.
But I was also afraid of what I would do after being dropped from IIT. What can I do? Thinking this I completed IIT. But my performance was still not as good. I was still under stress. Now the job was also started and the salary was also good but satisfaction was not there at all. But one day my friend advised me to learn to accept life. Do your favorites work in free time so that there is no stress. My favorite hobby was cooking. Everyone used to praise my cooking. So I started cooking in my free time. One day jokingly my friend said to me that you should have been a chef. Actually, this was the only thing that I loved but never paid attention to it. I thought if I could do it
But the fear was still there. People will consider me foolish. Even after doing IIT, he wants to be a cook. Parents will not accept it. But I used to learn this work in my free time. Days were passing, but there was no happiness in work. I started watching motivational videos. I started questioned myself how long I will waste my life for fear of the expectation of others. It takes some time to feel confident and finally I quit the job and opened a small restaurant
Nobody supported my decision. But now I had stopped thinking about others. I did not mind what they thought. I was not making as much money as before but my mind was calm. There is No longer stress. I was satisfied with what I was earning. But slowly my hard work paid off and my restaurant started running
I cannot say that I am earning a lot of money but I am earning almost as many as I used to get. And I hope there will be more progress. Those who used to call my decision wrong are now praising me. From this experience, I can definitely say that we should stop living according to others. You cannot be happy as long as you live life out of the expectations of others. If you do this, then you are taking yourself towards mental disequilibrium. Know your thoughts, recognize your abilities, and work on it. This is the way to be a happy life.
Personal Story: By Mandeep Kakkar