Everyone wants their marriage to last long. No one ever marries intending to get divorced later. When we marry, we marry with a dream to live a happy married life.
Even after spending a few years or months together, some of the couples decide to end up their relationship and get divorced. They even can’t resist each other presence and want to be divorced as early as possible.
What’s the reason behind unhappy marriage?
- Laziness: – Relationships should be a priority. Efforts need to be put in to make the relationship healthy.
- Selfishness: – Always keeping your needs first will not help in making your relationship healthy. You have to keep your spouse’s needs at least equal or if possible before your own needs.
- Neglecting the spouse
- Poor communication patterns between the couple.
Psychological tips to fix a broken marriage
- Listing issues on which you disagree with your partner:
These issues are the issues that you generally avoid discussing with your partner because of the fear of the argument with your spouse. Once these issues have been listed, then a mutually agreeable solution to be found for these disagreements. The new solution discovered can also be later applied to new issues.
If the list seems to be never-ending because you fight on almost everything, then the chances are less than your relationship is going through an extraordinary challenge. Your communication pattern with each other is not appropriate which is causing problems in your relationship and you need to work on that.
- Don’t point out fingers at each other
Don’t blame each other for the unhealthy relationship. To make the marriage blossom both the partners need to think about what they can do to make the relationship working even if the situation remains the same. Don’t focus on changing your partner’s habit. Focus your intelligence and energies on yourself and came up with amazing ideas to keep the marriage alive.
- Don’t get involved in any negative conversation
John Gottman concluded in his research, that marriage generally stay healthy if the ratio between bad and good interactions between the couple is 5:1
- Do not criticize each other.
Do not entertain blame, accusations in your relationship. Stop complaining about every small issue. Control your anger while conversing with each other. Do not get involved in mean digs, sarcasm. Try to be in a calm zone when together.
- Express your concerns to your partner constructively
- Praise your partner on little things as much as possible.
- Using humor when the arguments are escalating
If you are involved in a silly argument with your spouse then try to lighten the environment by using humor. To involve humor in a conversation you can simply crack a joke timely or give an amusing comment at an appropriate and correct time.
If even after all your efforts, you are not able to see any significant improvement in your relationship, then you can consult a relationship psychologist
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