Hello dosto. Depression koi emotion nhi hai ye ek mental illness hai. ye baat samjhne me mujhe kafi time lag gya or ye baat mujhe tab samjh aayi jab maine khud me mental illness ke symptoms ko feel kiya. Main shuru se he govt. boys school me padha hu or academics mein kafi achha tha. Par kabhi kisi ladki se jyada interaction nhi hua halaki coching class me kuch ladkiya thi par unse bhi jyada baatchit nhi thi.
School khatm hua or ab hum college me aa gae ye baat hai 2005 ki jab main first year me tha. Or kisi ladki se baat krne ke mamle mein Thoda sa sharmila tha. khair college mein naye dost bane, naya group bana or kafi had tak meri shyness chali gai.
Aise me ek ladki ki tarf mera attraction bhi badh gya. Meri usse lgbhag roj baat hone lgi or ek unclear relation humare bich ban gya na maine kabhi use propose kiya or un usne kabhi kuch kaha par fir kuch dosto ko humare bare me pata chal gya or hume chhedne lge ya khau ki ek pressure bnane lge ki main use propose kru. mere man me dar to tha ki agar wo mna kr de to kya hoga. Or najane kai treh se swal aane lage.
Finally maine use purpose kiya or humara relation start ho gya. Hum log bahut ghumte. delhi ki koi aisi famous jagah nhi thi jo humnd nhi dekhi. Aise me college ke 3 saal kaise beet gae pta he nhi chala.
Or ab start hua wo time jo main apni life me dubara kabhi nhi face krna chahunga. Humara breakup ho gya. College ke kuch time tak hum sath the par mujhe job krni thi or use aage apni study continue krni thi to humne decide kiya ki main job krunga or wo further study kregi. Ab hum dono apni life me dusri tarf busy ho gae. Ab wo apni study, career, new friends, family or mujhe ek sath manage nhi kr pa rhi thi. ab wo mujhse breakup chahti hai.
Pehle to vishvas nhi hua fir laga theek hai usne saaf saaf bta diya or humara breakup ho gya. Lekin ek bechaini si man me uhtne lagi or ye sab overthinking se shuru hua. meri diet kam hone lagi, ab main apni diet proper nhi leta tha or usse weakness aane lagi. Raat me thik se nind nahi aati thi. Soch soch kar headache hota tha.
main har time yhi sochne lga ki usne mujhe kisi or reason se to nhi chhoda, ya uska koi or boyfriend to nhi hai. Or dhire dhire mujhe mujhme he kami nazar aane lagi. Aise me 6 mahine beet gae mujhe me ek negativity aa gai or ab uska asar meri job par bhi padhne lga.
Us time main itan jyada aware nhi tha ki stress, depression, mental health jaise topics ko smjh pata or jaan pata ki mere sath asia kyu ho rha hai or shayad na he main us halat me tha ki us waqt in sab baato par dhayn de pata, family me bhi koi aisa person nhi tha jo mere is relationship issue ya breakup ko smjh paata jo ki ab ek mental problem ban gya tha.
Lekin office mein mere ek senior is problem ko samajh rhe the. Or unhone mujhse is baare me baat krna shuru kiya. Or maine badi mushkil se apni ye situation unke sath share ki halaki wo koi counselor ya psychologist nhi the par mere liye usse bhi badhkar hai. Jo mujhe bta or samjha paye ki us situation se kaise deal krna hai.
Ab main dhire dhire apni is situation se bahar aa rha tha or uske baad maine us ladki se bhi baat ki jiske sath main relation mein tha. Uske baad meri mental health ne meri daily life me koi rukavat nhi paida ki. Main wapis se apni job, apne career par focus kar paya.
Mere is experience ko labhag 10-12 saal ho gae or ab to mental health ko lekar kafi awareness logo mein aa rhi hai . aise me mujhe ye platform dikha to mujhe lga mujhe bhi apni baat share krni chahiye.
Thank you
Personal Story; by Girish Kumar
