The biggest problem we face is when we do not know what to do, what is our goal. What is the motive behind which we want to do that work?  Due to this confusion, we keep getting upset and wandering, but once we get the clarity behind doing some work, everything seems easy and it is also fun to do that work. I am sharing some moments and events of my life in the story, including my breakup.

I took admission in political science honors in graduation. There was a lot of excitement about college life. For me, college meant fun. Many of my new friends were made, but my girlfriend Megha (changed name) was special among all of them. We had a good bonding from the first year. We spend a lot of time together.  Even after college, we stay in touch with each other on the phone. And used to watch movies or make fun in malls on weekends. We liked each other's company a lot. Over time, our bonding also became stronger. I wanted to spend my life with her. I did not like when she did not come to college. However there was also a friend of mine, but she was different. I loved her and she loved me too. Now we used to talk on the phone for hours.

She took admission in masters but I did not. Now we were not in college together but were in regular touch of each other. Everything was OK. But I had become much more possessive. Today when I think, I can say that I also had insecurity. Excessive attachment is also not good. Her classes run till evening. So now she could only talk to me at night

Because of this she no longer picks up my call daily. And when she receives the phone, there was not as much talk as before. She used to reply to my messages too late. I did not like it at all. She was everything to me. Because of this, there would be many heated arguments between us. She said that she has to focus on her study as well and make a career ahead. Like me, she is not free all the time.

I get angry after hearing this. I feel that she is not as serious in the relationship as I am now. I said this to her as well. She used to get angry after hearing this. And used to stop talking to me.

All this goes on for a long time. More differences between us were created. We started quarreling over trivial matters. Now everything was not normal. She used to tell me repeatedly that I am becoming insecure. I am not even paying attention to my career. But I did not understand it at that time. I feel bad hearing all this. She felt this relationship was a burden

And finally, we have a breakup. This breakup was not easy for me. I could not forget her. After the breakup, I started living on my own. Sometimes I felt as if the world had ended. I started feeling depressed all the time, had stopped talking to friends and family, and was slowly becoming a victim of depression.

I was unable to move on. My family used to ask me reasons but I never shared this with them. But my elder sister understood the reason for my problem. She talked to me politely for several days and wanted to know my suffering. And finally, I told her the whole matter.

She explained to me when we reach a situation where nothing is going right between us, fights and arguments escalate and a sense of bitterness towards each other develops. When we are unable to tolerate each other at all. In such a situation, it is better that you happily get away from each other instead of living together, because every person seeks happiness in life. And that girl was right. There is no goal in my life. I have done nothing since college. She asked me to think about myself. Explained the importance of life. And helped me a lot to move on from a breakup. Initially, it is difficult for us to understand that we may also be at fault. But when we think logically and rationally, things look clear.

Today I have made a goal for myself. I have come to Delhi and am preparing for SSC. And I hope soon I will crack this exam soon. I have understood that having self-worth is also important. Life does not just mean relationship. This can be a part of life. It is better to know the reason behind the problems than to worry about the problems. If I look at the past, I can say that my behavior was the reason for my breakup. But now I am not sad. I have some plans for my life and I am trying to fulfill those dreams.

Thanks

Personal Story: By Mohit Mehra