Reply To: how to deal with negative thoughts and emotions?


Hello Sunil

Let me tell you building self confidence sounds very difficult but it is very easy when we try to think positive about ourself, feel positive about ourself. If some bad experience happens in life we usually blame ourself about it and start finding negatives in ourself, rather than focusing on what could be done to improve the present situation. Every person in his/her life makes many mistakes, which is completely fine. No one is perfect in this world. But we can improve ourself by learning from the experience by accepting things happily and positively. If someone criticise you then then use it as a tool to deal with it. Your life’s remote control is in your own hands. If you want to change yourself then you have to take control of your life by yourself only and determine that you will do what you want to do. By putting all your efforts to achieve it. Its not in your hand to control the circumstances but your response to circumstances and your behaviour in situations is in your hands. If you respond positively then you will have positive results i can assure you that.

Our feelings and thoughts are directly related to each other, if we think positive then we feel positive, good news is that this can be achieved by practice, start writing down 10 good thoughts and then spend 2-5 minutes on each thoughts thinking about that. Practice this regularly. We can not control our thoughts but we can control how much importance and time to give to positive or negative thoughts, its in our hands. This control can be easily achieved by some practice.

First of all you have to accept yourself the way you are. Each and every person is unique and good in there own ways. You must have some special qualities that makes you unique in this world, feel grateful about it.

There are many techniques which can help you –

* When you think, try to point out negative thoughts and stop them right there and ask yourself, is it really a logical thought or thinking? or what are the chances? Are you doing justice to yourself? Am i overthinking about this?

* Set a mind clock in your mind for 10 minutes and check whether you are thinking positive or not. If you are thinking negative then stop right there, sit up from that place, jump 5 times and bring positive thoughts in your mind.

* What ever negative situation disturbs you, think of that and tell yourself 5 good things even if that happens. You can train your mind by seeing positives in every situation. And the fact is that there is always good in every situation, its just our perception. Believe that everything happens for a good reason.

* Make your vocabulary of positive words, write down 5 new positive words every day.

* When you wake up in a morning tell yourself 3 good quality of yourself when you wake up. Feel grateful that you are alive and you are perfectly fine to do good deed to others and yourself.

* For good concentration sit in a quiet place. And think that you have good concentration and you can overcome this. It just takes practice, it will improve day by day.

* Keep your environment neat and clean, it will help you in overall development.

* Read positive quotes and books. Keep a list of motivational and inspiring quotes handy, and read them several times in a day.

* Follow your hobby, take some time out for yourself.

* Dress yourself good, compliment every day to yourself while looking into the mirror.

* Write down your positives and you achievements of yourself on one page. And paste that page on your wall.

* Write negative things on a page and think about what can you do to improve it and then write down what solutions you find out, through the page of negative qualities and keep the page of solution with you. Read it frequently.

* Use only positive words while thinking and while talking. Use words such as, ‘I can’, ‘I am able’, ‘it is possible’, ‘it can be done’, etc

* Use your imagination to visualize only favorable and beneficial situations.

* Always try to look constantly in others eyes while talking to anyone, with a smile.

* Listen music, dance with yourself if you like.

* Do sit for 20 minutes daily for meditation, it will boost your confidence.

* Make 2 new friends daily. It could be anyone, child, old, teenager…

* Every day do 3 kind things daily. It will boost your confidence to another level.

* Fix small goal for yourself and complete it, don’t take a big goal as a whole, divide it into parts and achieve it in parts.

* Go to park for a walk and do some exercise.

* Take a good sleep. Shut your all the devices 1 hour before you go to sleep.

* Talk to people you feel comfortable with. Tell them what you are thinking, it will clear your thoughts. If you feel uncomfortable in talking to anyone try to figure out what is making you feel uncomfortable. (Mail m your answer).

* You can do one good exercise that close your eyes for 2 minutes, and focus all different type of sounds occurring, count the number of sounds taking place in 2 minutes. It could be any sound like sound of fan, moving sleepers, car horns, breathing etc. It will help you enhance your attention, in long term your confidence.

* When ever you feel anxious then take 10 deep breath. Breath should be taken by stomach, when you inhale stomach comes our and when you exhale stomach comes in and chest goes out. Then count to 10 like 1 2 3…. Then take another 10 deep breath. It will relax you.

* Take a break and think what you want in life? Priorities you needs, whatever they are all will include happiness.


I would like to tell you that human mind can do anything by believing in it. So keep believing in yourself and practice the skills to be more confident. Please do take out 30 minutes everyday for your mental health. Take responsibility of yourself and your actions. Live positively.

Thanks and have a cheerful day.